Be Strong and Courageous!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

I have been studying the book of Joshua these days and reading a book called "Victorious Christian Living" by Alan Redpath.
I love reading the book of Joshua, because it is why we named our two boys Joshua and Caleb. Sometimes when I call out to them around the house I will say, "Joshua Strong and Courageous" and "Caleb Loyal and Brave". It is my heart to speak these truths over them and to remind them of who they are. The best part of it all is when I hear from the other room Josh calling out to Caleb "Caleb Loyal and Brave"!

Embarking on this trip across the world has brought up many emotions. Mostly all at the wrong times. Like when I was at home (we are currently in California) cleaning the house- I would feel so strong and brave. Or 6 months ago when we made our decision to go, I thought that it was the best idea ever! Now with 3 days until we leave I am wondering "now why did we decide to do this?" Other emotions that have reared up, have been while packing all of our bags and thinking about all the little things that I need to bring to make my little ones feel at home- I would start to get teary eyed and long for my home before I had even left. "What am I going to do with myself?" I am an emotional rollercoaster!

Already here in California that has been my question for the Lord not just emotionally but physically as well. The training has been very intense- pretty much on the hour every hour from 7 in the morning to 11 at night. I have had to surrender my desires to participate in the training and being around our group (Matt included) for the day with the exception of lunch and dinner. (I am so thankful for that time.) So with that being said the boys and I are trying to figure out what our days are going to look like and to readjust our expectations. Isn't that always the case! "Oh, Lord Jesus your ways are right and pure- but could you not just let me in on them ahead of time?? "

He has very clearly been speaking to my heart that "He is with me wherever I go" through the book of Joshua and that "He has and is ordering my steps" through Proverbs. He has spoken to my emotional rollercoaster through a phrase in a song: "Whatever steps are before me, I will choose to sing Hallaluia, Hallaluia!" Alan Redpath says, "You don't have to tell someone to be strong, unless they are feeling weak. You don't have to tell someone to be courageous, unless they are feeling scared, and you don't have to tell someone that you will be with them, unless they are feeling alone." And so the Lord says to me, "APRIL, be strong and courageous for the Lord YOUR God will be with YOU." Oh, how I treasure His faithfulness to speak into my life.

The Lord also spoke truth to my heart through this very humorous picture. So many times I think that I have what it takes to fight the battles or quite honestly just to make it through life. I mean, I am going to go on this trip and be the perfect missionary's wife I can be. I'll take care of the children full of joy and contentment and be a beem of strength and confidence. I am so exposed! Just like Joshie and sweet Caleb think they are going to conquer all of our household battles (like Mr. Rat that has made his home in our garage or finding and protecting Mommy from the mystery animal that has dug a deep hole in our yard). We are exposed to the reality that we aren't wearing armour, we are in our "superman" underwear and "Lion King" diaper. Not just that but the guns that we think have so much power are really just a cap gun and a pretend drill. But I am sure that the mean scouls on their faces will threaten anything that comes there way unless the enemy is dressed in a funny costume! But thank goodness for the mud boots! We will get plenty of traction with those! Do you see what I am saying? It is such a facade! A cute one of course, but a facade all the same.

My only way for LIFE and godliness is to pour my whole self into Jesus Christ. He is my only way! Practically speaking for me, it means to walk humbly before him. To see myself as I truly am. "I am a daughter of the King who desperately loves her Father, I am one that He has set apart for his very own purposes, I am one that he has ordained with righteousness and has bestowed very special gifts upon. But he has also chosen me knowing that I try to have it all together all by myself. That I try to "be in the know" so that I can have everything planned just right in order that I might have a sense of control on my life. He also knows that I still have very real fears and hurts that he is in the process of exposing and healing. And He knows that sometimes, despite my best effort I react out of my fears. Thank you Jesus that it pleases you and the Father to send the Holy Spirit to expose the roads that lead to my destruction and to counsel and heal me in the paths of righteousness for your name sake! "Bless You Jesus! You are highly exalted within me!"

Practically speaking it also means for me to surrender to His leading. "Ok Lord, I really wasn't planning on dealing with fear and lonliness today, but here we are!" My Mom used to tell me that sometimes you have to "be brave and do hard things". Relinquishing my rights to protect myself and follow the Lord through my vulnerable wounds is a very hard thing. It's risky and it usually means that death to myself will indeed occur. Don't we all know that is not easy!

For me practically he has also taught me that I have to believe him and to move out in this faith. Trust him that he knows the time and space that he has designated for my healing. Trust him that He knows the purposes that he has for me. Trust Him that He has committed to love me without any caution or regret. It is then that I move out with full confidence in the One who has planted His Spirit in my heart. It is by his power that I am able to walk through the places that He is leading me.

I am moving to a place of anticipation of how and where the Lord is going to lead this Momma and her two warriors as we take on Hong Kong! My Dad encouraged Matt and I before we left- "This trip is going to be more about what the Lord is going to do IN you then what you can do for those in Hong Kong". So maybe instead of saying "as we take on Hong Kong" I should say "I anticipate how the Lord is going to use Hong Kong to take us on and to transform our lives".

To Him who is able to do more .....