I can't believe that I am reviving this old blog that I quit last time I was here in Hong Kong. If I knew that when I quit writing this blog, that the next time I would post an entry would be right back here in Hong Kong I probably would have begged God to come up with a different plan for my life.
I remember loving my title "Leaving Borderland". It spoke so much to what was going on in my heart and the longing that I had inside to follow the spirit's leading. What I didn't know is that I would be entering one of the hardest months of my life and that the next 2 years would bear this very blog title "Leaving Borderland". I had no idea that the Holy Spirit was about to transform my life and that time and time again he would ask me to leave my little land, position myself at the border, and walk humbly with him into a whole new world.
For me "Leaving Borderland" means that I surrender to the Holy Spirit's leading to a life of sanctification...a willingness to change.
An openess to be totally transformed from one person to another. To have my life totally rearranged and put back together in a foreign land. Only to discover that any previous way of making life work, no longer exists; That this new land has only one mode of operation if I hope to survive. To thrive here means that I must not only know in my head that Jesus Christ is my source for life but I have to bank everything, every part of me on the fact that he is who he says he is, that he will be the sustaining power of my life.
If I am to live in this new land and not just visit then my whole life must embrace him. My whole life (not just parts of it) must speak loudly and clearly that He alone is and will be my portion because if he is not my portion then there is nothing left for me. I left it all back in borderland. This new land demands that He be my portion. For without Him, there is no me. I left myself there as well, hoping that something new would come out of this. Something that makes you want to leave your borderland to experience the life changing power of a God that is to good to leave us the same.
So for this space I commit the writings of the many borderlands that I will be asked to leave. The fears of moving into a new land. The longings to be back in what's familiar. The joys of the journey. The weariness of my travels. And most importantly I want to share with you the One who called me out from my first borderland. The land of darkness and brought me into the light of His glorious Son.
To you Jesus Christ....you move me. Time and time again...you move me.
Thank you. It's in you that I move and have my being.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Signing Off
Hey there.
I just wanted to let everyone reading along that I am signing off on this blog. I had high hopes that I would be able to find the time to post and to share my thoughts on our days. The more backed up that I have gotten, I realize how impossible it is going to be. We have one week left. Please pray for us. This has been one of the hardest trips of my life and I am so grateful for all of you who have been praying. We love you and can't wait to see you soon!
I just wanted to let everyone reading along that I am signing off on this blog. I had high hopes that I would be able to find the time to post and to share my thoughts on our days. The more backed up that I have gotten, I realize how impossible it is going to be. We have one week left. Please pray for us. This has been one of the hardest trips of my life and I am so grateful for all of you who have been praying. We love you and can't wait to see you soon!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
The Peak
Friday, July 13th
I have come to a discovery today. I think that it is partly due to the physical and emotional energy it takes to travel from one place to the next here with 2 preschoolers. You decide for the day where you want to go and you get really excited about all the fun you will have and all that you will see and do. But then theres the journey to get there. Now that's not always so much fun. It's hard, it's exhausting, and sometimes stressful. Now why is this, I ask myself. Mainly it's because all my enjoyment has gone into the destination and not in the journey. If only we could get to Ocean Park, then we would have so much fun! If only we can get through the plane ride and get to Hong Kong, then we will be o.k. So what have I discovered? I have discovered that if I don't choose joy in the journey, if I don't see the journey or the place that I am in this moment as the destination for now, I will miss it! I will miss what God is doing in me today. I will miss the enjoyment of my children in the Taxi. And most likely if I miss it, I will get to my so called destination exhausted, and disappointed from unmet expectations.
So that takes me to the next journey for the Dean family. The Peak. The Peak as at the top of a mountain and overlooks Hong Kong. We rode a trolley up the side of the mountain and saw the most breath taking views. We ate at McDonalds (smile) because all of the other restaurants were for all the couples who were looking for romantic dining overlooking all the lights of Hong Kong. If I can admit to you, I was a bit jealous, but thankfully I had already given up that right along time ago! Overlooking the city, I stood in awe of the greatness of God and his heart for all the people that lived in this city. "May your name be great in this city Lord. May you be magnified and glorified in this place."
So the trek home was no different than any other that we have had. Long and exhausting. But this one was different. On this journey home we had detours and surprises. It was unplanned. It was fun. After seeing the spectacular views, we decided to walk around the little area and see some of the billion dollar houses that found there residence on "the Peak". I had read that their were a few trails that you could take. We were walking on a little path with all of the intentions of going back and taking the tram back down the mountain. I had seen a couple walking on one path, so we decided to follow along. It's 8:30 at night mind you and we don't have the stroller with us. So we walk and walk and walk. About that time a French couple backpacking passed by us. We asked them how far down it was to the underground transportaion. They told us that it wasn't to far, you just go to the escalator and ride down. By this time we realized that we were already committed due to the steep path that we had been walking down. It would be much easier to keep walking down than to start walking up. Caleb was to tired to walk. So we wal and walk and walk. I had been carring Caleb and could no longer because my knees felt like they could colapse at any moment. So Matt took over and we continue down. Let me remind you that we are in the tropical climate so due to the humidity we were all now dripping with sweat. Josh says "Mommy, this adventure is to long!" We finally made it down thinking how bazzar it must have looke dto the French backpackers to come across 2 suberban looking Americans walking down the Peak at 9:00 at night with their 2 preschoolers. So the big questin of the night is "Where's the escalator?" It's just funny to me. Here we are in a big city looking for an escalator. Granted it is one of the longest escalators anywhere, it's just funny to me. After walking through windy little roads- Matt is now carring both boys in his arms we met a guy and asked him where the escalator was. This is sad but true.....the escalator the one we had been walking towards for the last hour, on a trail that only backpackers take, in the darkness of the night, it only goes up from the hours 7-10. Meaning it will not take us to the MTR. It will only take us back up to the Peak. Our you kidding me? Thankfully, we were waling in a cozy part of the city, thankfully you can't have guns in Hong Kong, and thankfully this is a safe part of the city. So my dear heart says....."Why don't we just take the escalator back to the tp of the Peak and ride the tram back down, that's what i wanted to do anyway."
Did I just fall off of another planet? Did you not just carry both boys down a mountain and you now want to go back up? So we start back up. We were have ing a good time, laughing at the crazyness of it all. Josh was being such a trooper and Caleb had fallen asleep along time ago. So why not? It's only 10:30 at this point and we only have about and hour journey to get back home, sure, let's go back up! The funniest part about this was, were on the escalator riding up through the city- there are little stops along the way to get off so you can go where you need to go. Anyway were headed back up and at one of the stops inside a little grocery store, was the French couple. She looked at me (I think they were buying water) with a puzzled look on her face, I just waved and smiled and continued to ride the escalator back up with the fam to where we had just come from. Bless the Lord Oh my soul someone told us wrong and the escalator did not go all the way to the top. We got off the escalator obviously because it just stopped .... there was no more escalator and we were not at the Peak. Ok, so we will now get a cab to the underground transportation station. So we are on the subway switching back and forth- still not even close to home. Finally at 11:45 I put my foot down. Josh and I (I was holding him by now) are getting a cab.....are you coming with us? (smile) Thankfully he did and thankfully when we got home this time are keys worked!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
I have come to a discovery today. I think that it is partly due to the physical and emotional energy it takes to travel from one place to the next here with 2 preschoolers. You decide for the day where you want to go and you get really excited about all the fun you will have and all that you will see and do. But then theres the journey to get there. Now that's not always so much fun. It's hard, it's exhausting, and sometimes stressful. Now why is this, I ask myself. Mainly it's because all my enjoyment has gone into the destination and not in the journey. If only we could get to Ocean Park, then we would have so much fun! If only we can get through the plane ride and get to Hong Kong, then we will be o.k. So what have I discovered? I have discovered that if I don't choose joy in the journey, if I don't see the journey or the place that I am in this moment as the destination for now, I will miss it! I will miss what God is doing in me today. I will miss the enjoyment of my children in the Taxi. And most likely if I miss it, I will get to my so called destination exhausted, and disappointed from unmet expectations.
So that takes me to the next journey for the Dean family. The Peak. The Peak as at the top of a mountain and overlooks Hong Kong. We rode a trolley up the side of the mountain and saw the most breath taking views. We ate at McDonalds (smile) because all of the other restaurants were for all the couples who were looking for romantic dining overlooking all the lights of Hong Kong. If I can admit to you, I was a bit jealous, but thankfully I had already given up that right along time ago! Overlooking the city, I stood in awe of the greatness of God and his heart for all the people that lived in this city. "May your name be great in this city Lord. May you be magnified and glorified in this place."
So the trek home was no different than any other that we have had. Long and exhausting. But this one was different. On this journey home we had detours and surprises. It was unplanned. It was fun. After seeing the spectacular views, we decided to walk around the little area and see some of the billion dollar houses that found there residence on "the Peak". I had read that their were a few trails that you could take. We were walking on a little path with all of the intentions of going back and taking the tram back down the mountain. I had seen a couple walking on one path, so we decided to follow along. It's 8:30 at night mind you and we don't have the stroller with us. So we walk and walk and walk. About that time a French couple backpacking passed by us. We asked them how far down it was to the underground transportaion. They told us that it wasn't to far, you just go to the escalator and ride down. By this time we realized that we were already committed due to the steep path that we had been walking down. It would be much easier to keep walking down than to start walking up. Caleb was to tired to walk. So we wal and walk and walk. I had been carring Caleb and could no longer because my knees felt like they could colapse at any moment. So Matt took over and we continue down. Let me remind you that we are in the tropical climate so due to the humidity we were all now dripping with sweat. Josh says "Mommy, this adventure is to long!" We finally made it down thinking how bazzar it must have looke dto the French backpackers to come across 2 suberban looking Americans walking down the Peak at 9:00 at night with their 2 preschoolers. So the big questin of the night is "Where's the escalator?" It's just funny to me. Here we are in a big city looking for an escalator. Granted it is one of the longest escalators anywhere, it's just funny to me. After walking through windy little roads- Matt is now carring both boys in his arms we met a guy and asked him where the escalator was. This is sad but true.....the escalator the one we had been walking towards for the last hour, on a trail that only backpackers take, in the darkness of the night, it only goes up from the hours 7-10. Meaning it will not take us to the MTR. It will only take us back up to the Peak. Our you kidding me? Thankfully, we were waling in a cozy part of the city, thankfully you can't have guns in Hong Kong, and thankfully this is a safe part of the city. So my dear heart says....."Why don't we just take the escalator back to the tp of the Peak and ride the tram back down, that's what i wanted to do anyway."
Did I just fall off of another planet? Did you not just carry both boys down a mountain and you now want to go back up? So we start back up. We were have ing a good time, laughing at the crazyness of it all. Josh was being such a trooper and Caleb had fallen asleep along time ago. So why not? It's only 10:30 at this point and we only have about and hour journey to get back home, sure, let's go back up! The funniest part about this was, were on the escalator riding up through the city- there are little stops along the way to get off so you can go where you need to go. Anyway were headed back up and at one of the stops inside a little grocery store, was the French couple. She looked at me (I think they were buying water) with a puzzled look on her face, I just waved and smiled and continued to ride the escalator back up with the fam to where we had just come from. Bless the Lord Oh my soul someone told us wrong and the escalator did not go all the way to the top. We got off the escalator obviously because it just stopped .... there was no more escalator and we were not at the Peak. Ok, so we will now get a cab to the underground transportation station. So we are on the subway switching back and forth- still not even close to home. Finally at 11:45 I put my foot down. Josh and I (I was holding him by now) are getting a cab.....are you coming with us? (smile) Thankfully he did and thankfully when we got home this time are keys worked!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
The Bible Study Let Down
I know that the title of this post sounds a bit crazy, but you will soon understand what I am talking about. Since Sunday I have been so excited about going to a ladies Bible Study on with the church we have been visiting. I was so excited about being able to fellowship with other moms. Plus, I was just plain desperate! I have already told you how hard the whole internet communication has been. I have talked with my mom on occasion, but it is hard to really talk when you are in a common room. I am sure you can imagine.
Matt was so sweet, he had already taken the boys to a local Mall to get a few things so that I could go with the girls on the team. I could not wait! so I go down to the lobby and pass by one of our sight leaders. We were making small talk, and in passing I mentioned that we were going to the study. She then let me know that it was against policy for anyone to go to a bible study in someone else's home. It would be alright if I were to go, but the girls on the team were not allowed. Oh my goodness. I can not tell you how crushed I was. I wanted to cry. It did not make sense to me. So, I went with the team to the mall to eat, grab some things from the grocery store and come home. "Lord Jesus, what next? I am trying so hard! I feel like everything that I try to do, to help make this a sane and healthy experience for the boys and I gets thwarted in some form or fashion. What would you have me do? I don't know what right i can give up next or how more surrendered I can be!"
Matt was so sweet, he had already taken the boys to a local Mall to get a few things so that I could go with the girls on the team. I could not wait! so I go down to the lobby and pass by one of our sight leaders. We were making small talk, and in passing I mentioned that we were going to the study. She then let me know that it was against policy for anyone to go to a bible study in someone else's home. It would be alright if I were to go, but the girls on the team were not allowed. Oh my goodness. I can not tell you how crushed I was. I wanted to cry. It did not make sense to me. So, I went with the team to the mall to eat, grab some things from the grocery store and come home. "Lord Jesus, what next? I am trying so hard! I feel like everything that I try to do, to help make this a sane and healthy experience for the boys and I gets thwarted in some form or fashion. What would you have me do? I don't know what right i can give up next or how more surrendered I can be!"
Ocean Park
Wednesday July 11th
Today our team was off due to teacher in-service day. So Matt and I decided to take the boys to Ocean Park. On our way we needed to drop off our laundry at a laundry service. It cost the same as doing it in th laundry mat of the dorm. So we load the boys the stroller and all of our laundry into a taxi cab. This was our only taxi cab driver so far that spoke any English. So, we are driving, big buildings, cars driving crazy, and people everywhere. Bottom line is that sometimes you feel like you are on sensory overload because of all that is going on around you. Josh sitting in the middle of us says "Mommy, look theres a cross." He was pointing to a tiny little steeple far off in the distance in the middle of all the buildings. He then proceeded to tell me and everyone in the cab, that That is where Jesus died on the cross for us so that He could live in our hearts. Wow! Out of the mouths of babes He has ordained praise!
The journey to Ocean Park was long and hot. Someone had given us wrong directions that took us in a complete circle. Finally we arrived and the boys loved seeing all the sharks and fish. The rides were alot of fun, especially the ride on the cart that took us over the mountain. "Lord you are so amazing!!"
The journey home consisted of a double decker bus (which Matt insisted we ride on the top, even if he had to carry the stroller up a narrow staircase), the underground subway (switching 3 different times), and last but not least a cab. We then take a small walk to the elevator, up to the 18th floor hot exhausted and all just ready to crash, and you guess it, our key won't work. This sisn't a big deal, I know. But by the end of a long day it is just the amount of pressure needed to just about put you over. Thank you Jesus for your grace and your mercy.
Today our team was off due to teacher in-service day. So Matt and I decided to take the boys to Ocean Park. On our way we needed to drop off our laundry at a laundry service. It cost the same as doing it in th laundry mat of the dorm. So we load the boys the stroller and all of our laundry into a taxi cab. This was our only taxi cab driver so far that spoke any English. So, we are driving, big buildings, cars driving crazy, and people everywhere. Bottom line is that sometimes you feel like you are on sensory overload because of all that is going on around you. Josh sitting in the middle of us says "Mommy, look theres a cross." He was pointing to a tiny little steeple far off in the distance in the middle of all the buildings. He then proceeded to tell me and everyone in the cab, that That is where Jesus died on the cross for us so that He could live in our hearts. Wow! Out of the mouths of babes He has ordained praise!
The journey to Ocean Park was long and hot. Someone had given us wrong directions that took us in a complete circle. Finally we arrived and the boys loved seeing all the sharks and fish. The rides were alot of fun, especially the ride on the cart that took us over the mountain. "Lord you are so amazing!!"
The journey home consisted of a double decker bus (which Matt insisted we ride on the top, even if he had to carry the stroller up a narrow staircase), the underground subway (switching 3 different times), and last but not least a cab. We then take a small walk to the elevator, up to the 18th floor hot exhausted and all just ready to crash, and you guess it, our key won't work. This sisn't a big deal, I know. But by the end of a long day it is just the amount of pressure needed to just about put you over. Thank you Jesus for your grace and your mercy.
Friday, July 27, 2007
I Am Coming Apart!
Tuesday, July 10th
Today the team left for their first day in the classroom with their students. As for me and the boys, well I am having a "come apart" day. The last 2 weeks have been rather intense. The only way I can describe it, is that it feels like I am in a pressure cooker. Today I think the reality of being here is starting to take it's toll.
"OK, what am I going to do all day with the boys while our team is gone until 4:00. How do I warm the bottles? How do I keep the boys from rolling around on the dirty floor and jumping on our pillows with their shoes? How do I get my stupid key to work in the door and how do I muster up enough energy to take the boys back down to the ground floor (we are on the 18th floor) when we are all just about to fall out from heat exhaustion or from the bursting of our tears." We have had it! Our playtime with friends today got cancelled. If you can't tell we were banking on that one. I found out to late in the day to try to figure out a new plan. I am pretty desperate for fellowship. Our team is great, they just aren't here. I would love to email or talk to you anyone from home, but I can only get internet in a common room down the hall. The connection is very very slow. By the time I get connected which is about 20 minutes, the boys are jumping off the walls and falling off chairs. Forget about trying to think clearly. Mostly what I want is to find a small little room where I can scream as loudly as possible and then cry until I can't cry anymore.
So I guess you won't be surprised to know that there is something on the bottom of my foot that itches really bad and that we also discovered today that we have bed bugs. Matt went tdown to housing to let them know. He said the ladies looked at him funny and then started talking about him in Cantonese. They said that they would come up and change our sheets. As he left they handed him a bag of dried ginger root (all chopped up) to put under our sheets. It is supposed to repell them. Have you ever tried to sleep on chunks of ginger root? Josh said "Mom there is something in my bed!" I didn't want to tell him that it was to keep the bugs away- I knew if I did, he would end up sleeping with me. So I told him it would keep his bed fresh.
Smiling and crying all at the same time- April
Today the team left for their first day in the classroom with their students. As for me and the boys, well I am having a "come apart" day. The last 2 weeks have been rather intense. The only way I can describe it, is that it feels like I am in a pressure cooker. Today I think the reality of being here is starting to take it's toll.
"OK, what am I going to do all day with the boys while our team is gone until 4:00. How do I warm the bottles? How do I keep the boys from rolling around on the dirty floor and jumping on our pillows with their shoes? How do I get my stupid key to work in the door and how do I muster up enough energy to take the boys back down to the ground floor (we are on the 18th floor) when we are all just about to fall out from heat exhaustion or from the bursting of our tears." We have had it! Our playtime with friends today got cancelled. If you can't tell we were banking on that one. I found out to late in the day to try to figure out a new plan. I am pretty desperate for fellowship. Our team is great, they just aren't here. I would love to email or talk to you anyone from home, but I can only get internet in a common room down the hall. The connection is very very slow. By the time I get connected which is about 20 minutes, the boys are jumping off the walls and falling off chairs. Forget about trying to think clearly. Mostly what I want is to find a small little room where I can scream as loudly as possible and then cry until I can't cry anymore.
So I guess you won't be surprised to know that there is something on the bottom of my foot that itches really bad and that we also discovered today that we have bed bugs. Matt went tdown to housing to let them know. He said the ladies looked at him funny and then started talking about him in Cantonese. They said that they would come up and change our sheets. As he left they handed him a bag of dried ginger root (all chopped up) to put under our sheets. It is supposed to repell them. Have you ever tried to sleep on chunks of ginger root? Josh said "Mom there is something in my bed!" I didn't want to tell him that it was to keep the bugs away- I knew if I did, he would end up sleeping with me. So I told him it would keep his bed fresh.
Smiling and crying all at the same time- April
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Snoopy Land!
Monday/ July 9th
First Day of School! Gage Day
Today are team met all the students and gauged how well they spoke English. From what they say, the school is great and they are so excited about teaching the students English.
Today the boys and I needed a Sabbath. We made puppets, watched movies, took naps, and played. Dorm life is great. You all should try it sometime!
If you love shopping, you will love Hong Kong. It seems like they have major shopping centers everywhere you go. Matt, the boy’s and I went to a mall that had a “Snoopy’s World” play area. Matt played with the boy’s while I looked around. What a great husband!! We found a Ruby Tuesday’s for dinner. I couldn’t wait! Matt and I both ordered the Club Salad. I took my first bite and for some reason it tasted like one of the smells that I have been smelling randomly in the stores or building that I have gone into. It is not a musty smell or a fish smell. I can’t quite describe it, all I know is that it turns my stomach and the 3 bites that I had of my salad all tasted just like that smell! So frustrating!!!
First Day of School! Gage Day
Today are team met all the students and gauged how well they spoke English. From what they say, the school is great and they are so excited about teaching the students English.
Today the boys and I needed a Sabbath. We made puppets, watched movies, took naps, and played. Dorm life is great. You all should try it sometime!
If you love shopping, you will love Hong Kong. It seems like they have major shopping centers everywhere you go. Matt, the boy’s and I went to a mall that had a “Snoopy’s World” play area. Matt played with the boy’s while I looked around. What a great husband!! We found a Ruby Tuesday’s for dinner. I couldn’t wait! Matt and I both ordered the Club Salad. I took my first bite and for some reason it tasted like one of the smells that I have been smelling randomly in the stores or building that I have gone into. It is not a musty smell or a fish smell. I can’t quite describe it, all I know is that it turns my stomach and the 3 bites that I had of my salad all tasted just like that smell! So frustrating!!!
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